One Phrase to Help You Stay in Strategy Mode During a High Conflict Divorce or Custody Battle
If you’re navigating a high conflict divorce or child custody battle with a narcissistic or abusive ex, you already know how emotionally exhausting and destabilizing it can be. The court system is cold and procedural—but your situation is anything but. You are advocating for your children’s safety, your future, and your peace of mind—often while being provoked, gaslit, or falsely accused.
In this storm, staying grounded in strategy can feel nearly impossible. And yet, it’s what the system responds to most.
Strategy Over Emotion—But How?
To operate from a place of clarity and strategy, survivors often rely on critical support systems such as:
A Certified High Conflict Divorce Coach
Online survivor communities and support groups
Informational e-courses tailored to family court navigation
Trauma-informed counseling or therapy to process grief and triggers safely
But even with the right tools in place, staying in a strategic mindset is easier said than done—especially when the narcissist is using every opportunity to push your buttons and derail your case.
One Phrase to Anchor You in Reality
When your ex does something triggering—twisting the truth, dragging out the process, or weaponizing your emotions—repeat this to yourself:
“I respond here and now to what is. I react emotionally, with safe people, to what should have been and what should be.”
This is more than a phrase. It’s a survival mindset. It’s how protective parents learn to separate the courtroom from the therapist’s office. It’s how you protect both your heart and your case.
Why Radical Acceptance Is a Game-Changer
Responding to what is means you are working with the reality of the family court system—not how it should operate, and not how a healthy co-parent would behave. You are meeting the moment with strategic awareness.
At the same time, radical acceptance does not mean dismissing your emotions. You are still allowed to hurt. To rage. To mourn. But you save those deeply human reactions for safe people and safe places. You do not hand them to the narcissist or offer them up in front of a judge who may not understand trauma dynamics.
Your emotions are valid. They deserve expression. But strategy demands that you choose where and when to express them.
Why Support Matters So Deeply
No one should have to hold this all alone. A Certified High Conflict Divorce Coach can help you maintain a radical acceptance mindset while navigating the twists and traps of the court system. They help you document patterns, craft strategic communication, prepare for hearings, and develop a customized plan that aligns with your case and your reality.
Many of our coaches have lived this battle. They know the system not just professionally—but personally.
You are not weak for needing help. You are wise for seeking support.
You don’t have to choose between being human and being strategic and you don’t have to do it alone. Find your Certified High Conflict Divorce Coach today.
