3 Signs You’re in a High Conflict Divorce (Not Just a Tough Divorce)
Most divorces are hard. Emotional, sad, stressful.
A high conflict divorce is a whole different beast.
If you’re wondering if your divorce is considered High Conflict, read on.
Is the Conflict Escalating Rather Than Coming to Resolution?
In a typical divorce, there are ups and downs including some conflicts but ultimately, the divorce moves toward resolution. In fact, many judges have somewhat of a grace period when it comes to conflict. They anticipate conflict for a certain period of time (on average, two years) and if a case continues to show up on the court calendar past that point, they start to lean in and pay more attention.
If the conflict seems to escalate, and new conflicts continue to emerge over seemingly innocuous issues, you may be experiencing a high conflict divorce.
Are Your Kids Being Used as Leverage?
Healthy parents seek to reduce the harm to their children in a typical divorce. No matter their feelings toward one another, divorcing parents seek to present a kind, courteous, united front so that the children don’t suffer further trauma or pain.
In a High Conflict Divorce, children are used as pawns by the high conflict or narcissistic individual.
Is your narcissistic ex:
Suddenly asking for or demanding more parenting time when they were previously disengaged?
Withholding food, clothing, bedding, activities, or other things your child is accustomed to having as punishment?
Accusing you of alienation, enmeshment, or gatekeeping?
Manipulating the children’s emotions with bribes?
Overwhelmingly, the most painful aspect of the high conflict dynamic for many protective parents, is the way abusers use shared children to keep causing harm.
Are You Turning to Systems for Protection - But Feel Gaslit Instead?
First and foremost, if you’re seeking protection from law enforcement or the legal system, you are likely experiencing a High Conflict Divorce.
In a typical divorce between healthy adults, there is generally no need for law enforcement or protection orders because there is a baseline of respect between individuals.
When survivors have to turn to court professionals and police officers for protection from a former spouse, only to be disbelieved or worse, punished, it’s clear that there is a high conflict or narcissistic individual involved in the dynamic.
You Do NOT Have to Do This Alone
You’ve probably heard that divorce is one of the most stressful experiences a person can have in their life.
Amplify that by a thousand, and you may begin to touch on how stressful it is to divorce a narcissist.
Fortunately, no one has to enter the arena alone.
Certified High Conflict Divorce Coaches understand the unique challenges of divorcing a narcissist and fighting for child custody.
