How Narcissists Prepare for High Conflict Custody Battle Court Dates

Narcissistic individuals generally thrive in the courtroom. 

But their preparation can begin weeks, sometimes months or years in advance. 

Here’s what the narcissist is doing to prepare for court.

While you’re double-checking dates for documentation, practicing grounding meditations, and trying to keep your breath steady in preparation for court, the narcissist is running a whole different ball game.

Your strategy is focused on facts, staying grounded, and working toward liberation and safety.

Their strategy is focused on manipulation, image management, and control. 

The Narcissist’s Image

Weeks, months, even years prior, the narcissist began crafting a public image.

Generous, willing to help and volunteer, a great community member.

And now, they will be calling in the favor for character reference letters, witnesses to speak on their behalf, and flying monkeys to intimidate the survivor.

The Narcissist’s Smear Campaign

The narcissist will also use old stories, photos, screenshots, emails, and any other physical material they have to support a smear campaign against the survivor.

They will rally family, friends, coworkers, faith community members, and neighbors into a hate campaign against the survivor. 

Affidavits, witness statements, social media posts, and petitions against the survivor may be brought to court to intimidate, slander, and humiliate the survivor.

The Narcissist’s Proactive Manipulation

In the weeks leading up to a court date, the narcissist will begin attending and aggressively documenting any family activities they attend.

It doesn’t matter if they’ve never attended your child’s band concert in their life - they will be there, at the Spring Concert, dressed in a tux, taking selfies with your child while everyone else watches, stunned at how inappropriate and weird it is. And they’ll present those photos in a slideshow, tears running down their jowls, explaining how beautiful the moment was, while the judge nods solemnly. Barf.

So How Do I (The Protective Parent) Counter This?

You can’t. You allow the narcissist to craft their courtroom persona based on image management, a robust smear campaign, and proactive manipulation based on lies and exploitation.

And you put your head down and work steadily, strategically, authentically, on showing the Family Court Professionals the patterns through strategic documentation. 

Family court is not a sprint. It is a marathon. With support, knowledge, and self-care, you can and will succeed on the battlefield. 

If you are a survivor navigating this difficult journey, we encourage you to explore our online courses at therulebookacademy.com or connect with a graduate from our coach training program at hcdivorcecoach.com/category.

If you are a survivor looking to turn your pain into purpose, we invite you to explore our eight-week certification course at hcdivorcecoach.com